Late last year, I moved from my home of more than 30 years in Indiana to be closer to family in Arizona. Thanks to my car’s GPS, I learned to travel from place to place—but who would help me navigate the process of building new relationships? Like many unaffilliates before me, I relied on the love and support of my P.E.O. sisters.
“If you haven’t been an unaffiliate, it’s difficult to understand how disorienting it can be,” Judy Rainger, CG, Lubbock, Texas, said. “I’ve made so much of my P.E.O. membership. I feel like I have friends everywhere I move.” Judy, who was initiated into Chapter R, Portales, New Mexico, moved soon after to a community with a small population of P.E.O.s. When she found out the school librarian was a member, she approached her, which led to a transfer to Chapter P, Santa Fe, New Mexico.
“That taught me to be very proactive.” Since then Judy has used bed and breakfast contacts to help her become acclimated when she moved to Virginia, and find a friendly place to stay in Wyoming while she was writing a chapter in a book about Buffalo Bill.
“The system does work,” Marietta Beckham, Chapter AI, Henderson, Nevada, said. Marietta, who says she could very well be the “poster child for the P.E.O. membership process,” is active in her 11th P.E.O. chapter. Her experiences as an unaffiliate were an integral part of her acceptance speech as incoming Nevada State Chapter president in 2009.
“I’m sure I wouldn’t have found friends in all those new communities so quickly without P.E.O.,” she said. “My mother always told me, ‘Pay your dues and wear your emblem to any newcomer gathering.’ Sure enough, sisters always noticed my little gold star or P.E.O. recognition pin, resulting in faster contact than through the official chapter-to-chapter form from my previous chapter.”
Judy agreed. “P.E.O. provided me with new friends and an instant network. These are the women who can tell you which doctors to go to, find you a realtor and recommend which plumber to use.”
And, as many unaffiliates discover, these are also the women who will offer emotional support when you’re missing the comfort of friends and family. Martha McElroy, Chapter N, Tuscaloosa, Alabama, recounted how P.E.O. came to her rescue when she moved from East Texas, her home of 35 years, to Tuscaloosa, Alabama, to be closer to her married daughter. The move was traumatic enough, but the day after Martha and her husband arrived in town, her daughter left for the summer to coordinate the University of Alabama’s Oxford Study Abroad Program. Thankfully, a P.E.O. sister showed up on her doorstep and invited her to a chapter meeting.
“So the summer that I had dreaded so much with my children in England became a lovely one because I had my P.E.O. sisters to help guide me
through. We made a wonderful move,” Martha said. “I have a gorgeous 23-month old granddaughter that I am enjoying immensely. And P.E.O. lets me show pictures!”
Unaffiliate Road Map for the Local Chapter
When you receive the name and contact information of an unaffiliate who has moved to your area, call to welcome her as soon as possible. Quite possibly, your friendly voice will be one of the first she will hear as she settles in to her new home.
Invite her to an upcoming meeting or social event. “Assign one sister to each unaffiliate so she gets to know a particular person and has someone she can rely on,” Judy suggests.
Offer her a ride. Navigating in a new environment can be nervewracking. Take the time to find out where she lives, and ask a sister who lives nearby if she would be willing to pick her up and take her home. The car ride can be a great time for you to get to know her better, tell her about your chapter and relate any customs or traditions that she might need to know before the meeting begins.
Introduce her to your sisters. Ask someone to be responsible for introducing her to the other sisters in your chapter. Although we are all sisters in spirit, sometimes it’s difficult to walk into a room full of women you don’t know and start a conversation. Marietta recommends taking time after the business meeting for every member to share where they’ve moved from to make the unaffiliate sister feel welcome. Martha suggests assigning each unaffiliate a buddy, who will help her find a seat, be included in conversations and explain chapter customs as the meeting progresses.
Wear name tags. It’s so nice to be called by name—and to know who
you’re talking to!
Share helpful information. Consider putting together a list of “best places” in your community to give to your unaffiliate. When you’re new to a community, having a great referral for hairdressers and reliable handymen is invaluable as is knowing the best places to shop, eat and be pampered.
If your P.E.O. community has a Reciprocity Group, give her one of their yearbooks. This will help her become familiar with what days and times each chapter meets so she can visit chapters that meet at a time convenient for her. When appropriate, invite her to attend upcoming reciprocity events and sit with members of your chapter. These social events, such as Founders’ Day, are a great way for unaffiliates to become quickly acquainted with their new P.E.O. community.
Follow up. Make an effort to let this unaffiliate know you’d like to have her visit again by calling, writing or emailing her with an invitation to your next meeting or social event. Continue keeping in touch until your
chapter decides to send her an official invitation to transfer or she finds another P.E.O. home.
Unaffiliate Road Map for the Unaffiliate
Make sure the corresponding secretary in your current P.E.O. Chapter has your new contact information. Ask her to send the Notice of Member Moving form to the presidents of the local chapters, the Reciprocity contact, and the organizer of the state, province or district to which you are moving.
Follow up. Once you arrive in your new community, don’t be afraid to
contact the presidents of the local chapters to introduce yourself and ask to visit an upcoming meeting or social event. You can find the names and contact information of local chapter presidents in the Directory of Presidents, located on the P.E.O. website. “Use the proper P.E.O. channels, but look to make contacts on your own as well,” Judy said. “Be as bold as you can.”
Visit as many chapters as possible. “Respond when they contact you and don’t be afraid to go; they are going to welcome you with open arms,” Martha said. Once you’ve arranged to visit specific chapters, think of each as an appointment you’ve made with your sisters and keep it. Most likely, the membership chairman has announced your visit to the chapter and your sisters are eagerly awaiting the opportunity to meet you. Of course, emergencies sometimes occur, so be sure you have the phone number of your hostess or contact person to call should something unforeseen happen.
Send a note of thanks. After your visit, send a quick note of thanks to the chapter president. Let her know how much you appreciate the hospitality of the sisters in her chapter. If you’d like to visit again, let those sisters know that you’re looking forward to seeing them again soon.
Attend Reciprocity. If your P.E.O. community has a Reciprocity Group, find out when their next social event is and try to attend. This is a great
way to meet a wide variety of sisters from different chapters. Often, you’ll also enjoy good food and a wonderful display of P.E.O. materials
that local chapters are selling to raise money for the P.E.O. projects.
Wear your pin to church or other places where P.E.O.s might gather. “Be out there and P.E.O.s will notice,” Marietta said.
Continue paying your dues to your current chapter until you transfer to a new one. Once you accept an invitation to transfer, send a note to your former chapter so they can celebrate the good news with you.
